Update on the Car Situation

So it looks like Jason didn't have to raise hell to get a little compensation for the crap we went through -- thank the LORD! They explained that their mechanics/technicians are limited as far as what stuff they can do so they had to bring in a specialist of some sort to come on site & check it out. Tuns out a bearing came off & was rolling around, causing the clicking sound we were hearing. (I dunno what they're talking about, so if you don't know either, don't ask me. Also, if you DO know what they're talking about, don't explain it to me.) They had to order a part, which would take 3-5 business days to come in & then a day or two to fix it. So we were going to live without a car for a week & a half. But Hyundai was able to give a loaner, which they don't typically do, for 3 days. Better than nothing, but still not that convenient. At least they are trying to help us. I'm just happy I can do my grocery shopping without having to walk to the store with 2 babies & that we can go to church tomorrow. Yay church!! Hopefully we'll have it back in time for our Spiritual Parenting class on Tuesday.

Aim Lower

A friend of mine sent me this video & I thought it was interesting. I've never really considered the Great Commission this way. Maybe we make things way more complicated than they should be.

The Fiasco (AKA Saturday Night)

The beginning of this nightmare actually happened the Saturday before when, on our way to Jon & Molly's house, our clutch started making this clicking sound as though a rock or something was stuck in there. You could feel it through the clutch as your foot rests on it. The next day Jason had a friend take him to drop it off at the dealership & thus we were car-less for 2 1/2 days.

It [allegedly] took the technician the first entire day, open to close, to get the car to do for him what it had been doing to us for the previous two days. We were told that it was because we needed new brakes & rotors. We were also due for some regular maintenance so after everything was said & done, we dropped nearly $1000 on repairs. Yikes! But we assumed we wouldn't need anymore major work done for a while, & we hadn't really up until this point, so we just sucked it up & rolled with the punches. It was finally done late Tuesday evening but we weren't able to pick it up until the next day.

Wednesday night, the first time I took the car out, I had gone to the grocery store & halfway home the clutch started doing the clicking thing again! Jason calls the dealership back Thursday morning & was told we could bring it back in "if we wanted to" but it past safety inspection & is "safe to drive." Alright. They're the experts, they should know. We had decided to wait out the weekend & take it back in on Monday. Except, the car didn't last until Monday....

Saturday we drove to Glendora, nearly an hour away, to a friend's "welcome back!" party as he had just returned from a 6 month missions trip with YWAM. The clutch noticibly worsened about 45 minutes into our trip. We were coming off the 60 onto the 57 where we came to a light. Immediately upon stopping at the light the car silently died. Awesome. A line of cars were stuck behind us, trying to get off the freeway. Horns were honked (though the person directly behind us didn't -- she understood what the flashing hazard lights meant). People were mad. Jason called Hyundai's roadside assistance & I called our friend to let him know what had happened. All the while Solomon was screaming this awful, high-pitched scream that he does & Charlotte was crying. More awesomeness. Finally, after we had been sitting there for about 10-15 minutes, this man & his son offered to push us around onto the road, off of the exit, & we happily accepted. At least we weren't blocking the exit anymore!

Two friends were able to leave the party & come to our rescue; Ramses took the kids & me to the party & Chris & Jason stayed with the car to wait for AAA to send a tow truck. Thank God for Chris, who had AAA, as Hyundai was going to charge us $100 to tow! Ramses, the kids & I safely made it to the party around 6 (it started at 5). After about an hour & a half I called Jason as they still hadn't shown up. Jason explains to me that they were still waiting for the tow truck as AAA apparently dispatched a tow truck in TEXAS! That poor truck driver in TX was driving around on a road by the same name, looking for our car. So then AAA had to cancel that tow truck & dispatch a new one. Chris & Jason finally got to the party at about 8:30, we stayed for another half hour & Ramses took us home. (What a sweetie! That's a 2 hour round trip for him!)

Unfortunately, the madness didn't quite end there. Since the kids didn't get to bed until about 10:30, & they both have colds, they were both tired & cranky all day long. It's been a terribly long weekend.

Well, Jason has a few choice words for the dealership tomorrow & wrote a letter for them today. He said he's going to wait to see how they handle the situation & if they're cooperative, we will put this all behind us. If not.... well, I'll keep you posted. It ain't gonna be pretty, I promise you that.

Graduating to Solids

We've been giving Charlotte rice cereal for a couple of months now. Inconsistently, though, because I'm too lazy to make a bowl. It's much easier to nurse her on the spot. At her 6 month check up I confessed I wasn't feeding her solids as often as I was supposed to be & the pediatrician said it's mostly to help babies gain weight & Charlotte certainly wasn't having any trouble in that department, so not to worry. He said we should go ahead & start giving her stage one foods though.

Well, transitioning to solids has proven to be both challenging & annoying. Charlotte simply has no interest in eating solids! She refuses to open her mouth & either purses her lips or sticks her tongue out, making it difficult to shove the spoon in there. All she wants to do is play with the spoon & chew on the rubber covering. While it is adorable to watch her do this, I don't want to spend a half hour trying to feed her a little bit of food. Especially when my two year old is running amok or throwing his own food.

I'm sure it'll get better with time. Just gotta keep on keepin' on.

Rice Cereal attempt #8. This pic cracks me up.

She stole the spoon from me.

Charlotte, before trying carrots for the first time.
(She has more bibs. It's just a coincident that she's wearing the same one.)

Other than the whole not opening her mouth part, it went alright.

She's a spoon thief.

Naptime Shenanigans

Solomon had been in his room for nearly an hour & still hadn't gone to sleep. As I was passing his room I saw him jumping up & down at his door, shouting at me, "I'm a bug! I'm a bug!" When I stopped to get a good look at what he was doing, I found he had Charlotte's ladybug swimsuit dangling from his neck & he was running around, in squatted position, arms sticking straight out behind him, going, "Bzzzzzzz! Bzzzzzz!" It's hard to be aggravated with him when he's so darn cute.

Holiest Birthday Gift Ever

One of the many reasons I heart Dave Khalif: he's the funniest, most creative person I know. Hmm. Maybe that was 2 reasons. Anyway, for my birthday he gave me the following:


The awesome Sponge Bob tin lunch pail contained: a Sweet Jesus Air Freshener, Virtuous Vanilla scent (doubles as an anti-theft device); Jesus Saves Your Breath mints, 12 wintergreen mints, one for each apostle; Pocket Jesus Saves (it's a little Pepto-pink, plastic Jesus figurine. And, yes, I do carry it in my purse. I like the pink Jesus better than the Suburban white Jesus with shiny, flowing hair & blue eyes. It also came with a bonus bumper sticker.); & finally, a tiny book entitled "The Monster That Ate Stars." Weird, weird little book. Doesn't make much sense really, but that's sorta the point.

Dave, if you read this, this is my official request for next year's birthday gift. I would like to see a comeback of "Gauche."

(P.S. Maria, do you think these things with Jesus' name slapped on them make Him cry? Or laugh hysterically?)

Charlotte's Baby Dedication, 1/25/09

I finally got the dedication pictures back this week! Yay!! We got to church a bit early so we could get the pics done & save our seats. Jon & Molly, Charlotte's Godparents/Jason's bro & his wife, were with us, along with Trevin, the Petersons & the Morenos! Some our closest family & friends :) We were able to have Trevin come up to pray with & over our family, which meant so much to us.

There's something so powerful about standing before your church family, committing your child to the LORD & promising to raise them up in His ways. And hearing your church family also committ to supporting you & RockHarbor's family ministry. It's a heavy burden & a huge responsibility to "Train a child in the way he should go" [Proverbs 22:6a], but it's also such a privilage that God entrusted us to help guide them in His ways. If my kids do only one thing right in choosing to be in relationship with Christ, then I have done my job & can die a happy woman. I don't want their faith to be something they "do" because that's how they were raised; I want it to be authentic. I want them to grow up & own their faith. Investigate & figure out on their own that the LORD is good, not just because Daddy & I said so. Their decision to follow Him is more important than anything. More important than education, financial success, even their personal happiness. Eternal freedom is better than a mesley 80 years of self-indulgence.

We had to choose a life verse for Charlotte, one we were to pray as a blessing upon her. We chose the same passage we selected for Solomon for his dedication 2 1/2 years ago & we will use it for any other children we may have:

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. -- Ephesians 3:14-19

Here are a few pics from the dedication. For some reason, Solomon was abnormally cooperative that morning, thank God! :)

Lucy

My sweet, sweet Lucy. You were the reason we adopted you & Gabe almost 5 years ago. We had looked at cats online & decided on one before we got to the shelter, only to learn he wasn't that friendly & hated other cats. So we walked around to find some kitties to complete our new family.

You kept pacing your cage, following us back & forth, back & forth, calling to us, "Pick me! Pick me!" After interacting with a few other cats, I said, "Well, let's check out these guys here. This one keeps calling to us, so maybe this is it." They took you, Gabe, Jason & me into a little room so that we could meet you formally. Gabe just kinda sat there, keeping his distance, disinterested in the whole ordeal. But you.... you were so affectionate! How could we say no to you? So we brought you home.

You were my baby for the first 2 years. You slept on my head every night & I loved it. Until we had a baby & sleep was scarce. I'm really sorry to have kicked you out of our room like that but I needed what little sleep I was getting & you sleeping on my head interfered with that. I didn't love you any less though. I hope you knew that.

As the family attention whore, your affection was annoying at times. Honestly, a lot of the time. As much as I loved you I wished you were content just being nearby, like Gabe, rather than on me 24/7. Seriously, if you could've lived inside me somehow, you would've. You always acted like a kitten, so spry & playful. No one would've ever guessed you were 14.

You were such a wonderful pet & I'm sorry I wasn't a better pet owner. I could've loved you better. I'm glad you didn't know the difference & loved me unconditionally, regardless of how I treated you (which wasn't bad.... it just could've been better). No pet could ever replace you & you will always hold a very special place in my heart. Hmm. Maybe you did get inside me afterall, hehe :) Goodbye kitty. I love you so very much & will miss your persistent, annoying cuddling.

Our Sweet Lucy
1995 - 3/4/09

I Need a Solid Night's Sleep

I think the reason I have so many crazy dreams is because I'm constantly woken up during my REM sleep. Well, maybe that's not why they're crazy; but maybe it feels like I have more dreams than usual because I'm more likely to remember them, being interrupted & all multiple times each night.

This morning Jason let me sleep in a little (I get 2 days a week) & he came to wake me up around 8:30 so he could get ready for work. I was in the middle of this insane dream that Jason, the kids & I were at the Brickmans' house (why? I have no idea.), but it looks nothing like their house. It was late at night & dark outside; there were a lot of pipes & water & some construction going on (makes sense.... Davey is a contractor). Jason was downstairs on his laptop, working because he had synchrotron time. This was funny to me because he really DOES have synchrotron time this weekend. The kids were there, but sort of fuzzy. Like they were just running around playing or something & no one was really paying them any mind.

Anyway, so I kept getting these kicking sensations in my belly & I was pretty sure I was pregnant. I knew Jason would be really upset so I had Christine sneak out to get me a pregnancy test so I could confirm before I dropped a bomb on my husband.

I woke up before I found out whether or not I was preggers, so I guess we'll never know!

Blogging out of Boredom

I don't really have much to blog about but I'm bored so I'm going to write some random pieces of information. Really I should be doing some chores around the house, but, meh.

• God has been good to us & has continued to bless us even though this past year has been difficult. He has proven His faithfulness unwavering & I cannot help but give Him praise & adoration. Thank You LORD... it's impossible to thank You enough.
• My left contact is blurry and it's extremely annoying. Maybe I accidentally got lotion in it when I rubbed my eye?
• I had to run an errand this morning & while I was driving down MacArthur Blvd I had a clear view of the snow covered mountains beyond the palm tree-lined road. God of creation took my breath away.
• This thought crosses my mind AT LEAST once a day: I wish everyone was as compelled by Christ as I am.
• Some people obsess over politics, some people obsess over stocks & the economy. I obsess over God. I blog & talk about the LORD a lot. I don't care if it bothers people either. If you don't like it, you aren't being forced to read it, but I hope you do anyway so that you can get a glimpse of His good works in my life. I live for Him so it's only natural that my conversations center around Him as well. Sometimes (okay, a lot of times) I am a poor reflection of Him but I hope that my faults only shine light on the fact that God loves us anyway & takes us as we are. We don't have to "clean ourselves up" for Him. Everyone's messed up. I'm definitely no exception. In the famous words of DC Talk: "I am the chief of sinners."
• Sometimes I think some of my Christian friends even think I talk about God too much, but again I don't care. My intention behind my God-obsessed convos is not that of a "holier-than-thou" stance, but to remind myself of who the LORD is & who I am in Him. Also, as mentioned in the previous bullet, so that others can see Him working in my life. I <3 Jesus!
  
• I've always struggled with prayer. No matter how in love I am with Jesus it's always been difficult. I'm talking to an unseen God. My mind wanders. I get distracted easily. However, this past week God has been drawing me into prayer & I can't resist. I have been enjoying praying & have been doing it pretty consistently throughout the days this week.
• I'm really excited about some stuff, but I can't talk about it right now so you'll just have to be curious I guess. If you feel you have to know what I'm talking about, you will have to email me directly or call me. That's the only way I'm telling.
• As the end of our CA stint draws nigh, I am sad. How am I gonna function without the only church I've ever loved? Maria said once that she's been a Christian since she was 12 but has never loved a church she attended. If it wasn't for RockHarbor, I'd be right there with her. I don't have high hopes of finding another church that I'll feel the same for. I'm also really gonna miss all of our friends out here. Only about another 16 weeks left in Cali.
• I really want to go to Waco. I haven't been there in a year now & it's about time I scheduled another trip. Maybe David Crowder will actually be home when I'm there next. He's usually on tour so I've never been able to see him at his church. I'd like to see my family again & I miss Jackie :(

I guess that's enough for now. Peace.

The Foolishness of God

We're doing a series at church right now on I Corinthians & it has been amazing! It has been very encouraging & is feeding both my mind & soul well.

This past weekend, before the sermon we were shown a video taken earlier in the week. A few staff members from our church went to UCI & quietly set up a big wooden cross in the middle of campus. Then they proceeded to interview passerby-ers, asking what their thoughts & reactions were to seeing the cross. Nothing too forceful or intimidating, simply surveying. Not too far away there was another guy with a big sign that, sadly, displayed a message of condemnation. The old "turn-or-burn" tactic. Aaaand he was shouting at people as they walked by. Our camera guy caught some footage of passionate arguments between him & college students. At one point, our camera guy had heard enough & ran over to the other guy & started yelling over him, "FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD!" preaching a message of hope & love.

As Christ followers, we should definitely NOT try to apologize for Jesus & the reality of where a life without Him leads; Jesus wasn't apologetic about the Truth. But we should be cautious of how we go about sharing Jesus with others. It's the Good News for a reason. It's supposed to bring hope & peace. Screaming at people, telling them they're headed for hell is not going to make people hopeful or feel peace.

Anyway, if you want to listen to the latest sermon I encourage you to do so! It's long (almost 45 minutes), but Mike Erre will make it well worth your time. I promise! (Man, I'm gonna be so sad to leave RockHarbor.... I'm getting teary eyed just thinking about it right now.... & knots in my stomach.)

"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." -- I Corinthians 1:18

Just When I Started Thinking I Actually Looked My Age...

I was at the snack bar in Target today & had this conversation with an older lady as we were filling our drinks:

Lady: I thought that maybe you were just babysitting. [Smiles sweetly.]

Me: Oh, no [chuckling]. They're both mine.

Lady: Yes, I can tell by the way you look at them. You are so young.

Me: Well, I'm gonna be 27 in two weeks.

Lady: No you're not. Someone lied.

It's been a while since someone has said something like this to me, so I really appreciated it. I don't think 26 is old by a long shot -- heck, I don't even think my parents are old yet! -- but I always liked that people thought I was a teenager, fresh out of HS or possibly STILL in HS. The last time I was with my dad he indicated that I looked my age, so this exchange made me happy :)

Grandma

Today marks the one year anniversary of my grandmother's death. I always thought she was a batty old lady but I still loved her very much. Of all my grandparents, she was the most present in my life so her death affected me more than others would or will. That isn't to say she meant more to me or that I loved her more than my other grandparents, her death just cut me a little deeper.

When I was 8, after my parents divorced, my mom moved me & my two brothers from Pensacola, FL to Waco, TX & we lived with my grandma for a couple of years. This is odd because she was my dad's mom. So we were living with my mom's ex-MIL. If I remember correctly, we lived with her until I started middle school, when we moved not too far away to some apartments on Hawthorne Dr. At some point, shortly after I started middle school & my dad & other mom returned to the states (they were stationed in Japan up until then), my grandma moved to MD to live with my parents & I only saw her a couple times a year when I went to visit.

Unfortunately I was living with her just as I started going through puberty & she thought it was okay to pinch my newly developing boobs. This memory still makes me cringe & feel a little queasy.

At 16 I moved to MD to live with my dad & other mom & thus, shared a home with my grandmother again. My boobs were completely developed at this time, but she still thought it was funny to pinch them. She mostly stayed in her room but would come out to either go to the bathroom or to complain about something. No one could hardly ever do anything right; her way was always better. Hmm. Sounds like a couple other people I know....

When Maria moved in with us a couple years later, just after high school, we girls had to use the downstairs bathroom since my grandmother used that one. In case she had to rush in to use the bathroom. Which almost always happened as one of us were in the shower. "I need to use the pot!" she would shout as she barged in there. Then she would get all spiritual "on the pot" & start saying things like, "Oh dear Jesus! Lordy, Lordy, Lordy! Help me LORD!" What tha?????? -- It was horrid at the time, but now that it's nearly a decade later, I laugh about it.

One time my mom had just steam cleaned the carpets & asked my grandma to stay in her room until they dried. My grandma couldn't wait so she tied plastic grocery bags around her feet so she could walk on the floor. The picture in my head is hilarious!

The woman was a living, walking, breathing comedy. The last time I saw her was January 5th, I believe it was, when she was in the hospital due to her pneumonia & stuff. This was a few months after I had miscarried & a couple of weeks after I learned I was pregnant again. Since it was a pretty gloomy moment, I thought I'd try to make it cheerful by announcing my pregnancy to her. Aunt Roseanne, Toni & I were all sitting there with her & I said, "Grandma, I just want to let you know that I'm pregnant again." She smiles, closes her eyes & whispers, "Don't have another miscarriage." Aunt Roseanne & Toni gasped & were in wide-eyed shock. Me, I just laughed. "Okay Grandma, I'll see what I can do." She smiles at me again & nods her head. hahahaha -- that'll never cease to be funny.

About a month later, during the wake of her funeral, I saw 2 of my cousins, Jaime & Wendy, who I hadn't seen in a very long time. I started telling them about the miscarriage & the new pregnancy when they stopped me & said, "Oh yeah, we heard. Grandma wrote about it in her Christmas cards." What????? I mean, how do you bring something like that up in a Christmas card?

Front of card: "Unto us a child is born..."

Inside of card, Grandma writes: "Hey, speaking of children being born, your cousin Amanda had a miscarriage. Merry Christmas! Love, Grandma"

Like I said, a batty old lady. A batty old lady who will always hold a special place in my heart. Miss you Grandma.

The Best Complaint Letter Ever

I know I already Twittered this but it's too freaking funny! Jason & I couldn't stop laughing throughout the entire thing. My sides started hurting! I can't remember the last time I laughed this hard. Whooo-wheee!

Is This Indicative of His Future Career??

Solomon has been romping around naked lately. He has decided he wants nothing more to do with clothes & takes them off as fast as I put them on him. Jason said this morning, "Maybe he's going to be a stripper when he grows up." Look out, Chippendales!

Solomon

Sometimes my blogs are solely for me so that I may remember things. A journal of sorts. Today's entry is one of those times.

This morning I was carrying a large stack of board games upstairs (we played the other night when the Morenos spent the night) & Solomon says to me, "Careful Mommy!" It made me smile.

I'm amazed at how quickly his verbal skills are developing now compared to even a month ago. I remember last year thinking that he was going to struggle in that department. Boy did he prove me wrong! He says things that make me smile all the time. He's cute when he says, "Oh, gosh!" & "Aw, man!" When he hurts himself he says, "I hurt you! I hurt you!" (& yes he often says the same thing twice in a row.) He calls chicken "kicken" & tickle "kickle." Lightening McQueen from Cars is simply "Queen" -- "Waawatch Queen! Waawatch Queen!" Or "Wedgie Tales" hahaha! That cracks me up. "Queeb up" = Clean up.

Sometimes he tells us something is wrong to do. For instance, "No throw it! No throw it!" But then he throws it anyway. Or, "No kiss it! No kiss it!" & then he kisses our feet anyway. Gross! What is with this kid & feet?? It really bothers us. (I think he sees me kiss Charlotte's feet & now thinks this is acceptible behavior -- no matter how much we try to convince him otherwise.) What makes his "No" statements even better is that he waves a scolding finger at us. I would laugh at this but he usually does something immediately after the statement which really pisses me off. Like throwing food or a hard, rubber bouncy ball.

His smile melts my heart & his laugh is deep & sincere. So full of life. You can't help but laugh right along with him... even if it is because he spit his milk out all over him & his sister.

(I hate this picture of me, but I love this picture of us.)

Getting Pleasure From Another's Pain

I really should not find pleasure in this news. It's from a month ago, but it still made me smile. The 39 cent thing made me laugh out loud.... literally.

Taming the Beast

I have an anger problem. That should come as no surprise to those of you who know me. God has convicted me though (has been for years, but I'm pretty resistant) & He is slowly changing my heart. It's painful & less than enjoyable. But my desire is to live my life such that it points to Christ & in order to do that I have to submit myself wholly to Him.

Yikes.

I find much comfort & strength in the Word & I want to share with you a few passages to which God has directed me. I know I've been quoting the Bible a lot lately, but, you know, it ain't the Living Word for nothing.

• Psalm 4:4 -- In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. Selah
• Psalm 37:8 -- Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil.
• Psalm 86:15 -- But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.
• Proverbs 15:1 -- A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
• Proverbs 29:11 -- A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.
• Ecclesiastes 10:4b -- calmness can lay great errors to rest.
• I Corinthians 13:4-8 -- Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
• Ephesians 4:26-27,30-32 -- "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. [30]And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
• Colossians 3:7-8,12-14 -- You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. [12]Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
• James 1:19-21 -- My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.

So there you have it folks. Anger in & of itself isn't really the problem, it's OK to be mad sometimes.... it's the sinning in that anger that God wants us to steer clear of.

I know this journey of anger recovery is going to be on a long, rocky road. It's gonna take time & it's gonna take practice. I need my brothers & sisters in Christ to help hold me accountable & gently, lovingly remind me as needed of my goal. I have to work hard to undo nearly 27 years of habitual behavior. Fortunately, my LORD is for me & I cannot fail. Praise be to God.

Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?

I dunno why I've been thinking so much about death lately (more than usual, anyway). Maybe it's because we're in the wake of the anniversaries of several deaths: Josh, Jeremy, & my grandma (there are many more but these were the most significant to me).

My biggest fear is losing those closest to me, who I love most, but I do not fear death for myself. I guess it's actually kinda selfish... I don't want to live without them but I'm okay leaving them behind. Well, that's not entirely true. When I think about the possibility of leaving my husband & my kids behind while they are young it wrecks my heart & soul. I don't want to die anytime soon, but I am not afraid to do so. Sometimes, as days go by, I think, "I'm another day closer to being with my LORD." How can you be scared or sad when faced with that reality?? It's such a wonderful truth! I can't even begin to describe the joy I feel in my heart when I anticipate meeting Christ face to face.

Okay, I'm not being totally honest here again. There is something more frightening still than simply losing a loved one. Losing a loved one who doesn't know Christ. As I grow in my relationship with Him & come to know Him better, I'm baffled that there are people who are not as compelled by Christ as I am. My desire is for all of my loved ones (but this desire is certainly not limited to my loved ones!) to know Jesus & the power of His Love. If a person would take the time to investigate, it is impossible to not find Christ because all truth is God's truth. All roads following truth lead to Him. To quote my all-time favorite band (yes, again!), mewithoutYou, "I used to wonder where You are - these days I can't find where You're not!"

For the person who is in relationship with the LORD, death is nothing to fear. "Death is not a period, but a comma in the story of life," Amos Traver. I Corinthians 15 is an awesome passage on the Ressurection & toward the end, in verse 55, Paul quotes Hosea 13:14 & sort of taunts death (see blog title). People, God won, death is conquered! When my baby brother Josh died, I found comfort in another one of Paul's epistles, I Thessalonians 4:13-18. Do not grieve like the rest of men who have no hope. I have hope. Praise God that I have that hope.

I want to end my thoughts with one of my favorite worship songs which reminds me of the hope I have in Christ. May it stir up hope in you too:

Catching Up!

Wow. It's been a while since I blogged... from Christmas until today we've been crazy busy as J's parents were in town. Christmas was pretty fun with Solomon this year (& I'm sure it'll be even MORE fun next year when he has a better grasp of what all's going on); he opened just about everyone's gifts & was delighted to do so. We had a nice, quiet family Christmas in the morning which I was so happy about. This was our first Christmas for just our own little family (not that I don't enjoy big Christmases with our families, but it's very special when you get to focus on your family alone). Here are a few pics from Christmas morning (I'll be posting more on FB later):

Solomon giving Charlotte her doll from Aunt Maria.

Solomon opening his AquaDoodle.

Solomon "helping" Daddy assemble his Sit-n-Spin.

Later J's parents arrived from MD & Jon & Molly came over for dinner.

Charlotte & Pop-pop.

Solomon & Vóvó.

Family photo with our sad, little Christmas tree behind us. (Please ignore my horrible hair -- I didn't style it very well that day. I promise it looks a lot better than this.)

A few days after Christmas we received word that Grandma Stagno, my FIL's mother, had passed away, so he left for Boston the next day for the funeral, leaving my MIL behind (he said he felt that it was too close to the anniversary of Jeremy's death for Jewel to handle going to the funeral & insisted that she stay). Ed seems to be coping with everything okay; Jason was never really close to her so it didn't affect us much, just felt bad for Ed. She was 95 so she had a nice, long life.

A week ago I discovered that I really do like football. I absolutely hated it prior to last Sunday.... so much so that I would not let Jason watch it. EVER. I know, I know... I'm a horrible wife. Guess he lucked out now. I thoroughly enjoyed watching the Ravens crush their opponents, especially today (suck it, Dolphins!!). I'm even a little sad that I can't watch them play again until Saturday, & since we'll be in Vegas I'm not sure we'll get to catch that game. GO RAVENS!!!


Anyhoo, so as you all know, J & I were praying & deliberating during the holiday season to determine where we will move to next. Jason actually created a spreadsheet & made a mathematical calculation to assist us in the matter (I <3 my dork). The numbers have spoken &
we are moving here. I feel good about this decision & believe this is where we're supposed to be.

I guess that's all I have for now as far as updates go. Hope everyone had a very merry Xmas & a happy New Year!!