In Over My Head

I signed up for an online class at Vanguard University to complete the 12 Early Childhood Education (ECE) units required to teach preschool in CA (I only had half when we moved from MD).  It's 5 weeks & very demanding - I'm definitely in over my head.  I've been experiencing a lot of anxiety over this class because it's been years since I've had to write papers & such.  I'm dreading the next 5 weeks.

For "class discussions" we have to post responses to questions from the instructor & comment/build off of other students' postings.  Well, tonight I spent about 3 hours working on my stupid post & upon completion, I hit "preview."  The effing thing kicked me out & I hadn't saved a draft.  I have to start all over from scratch.  I'm pissed not only because my work is gone forever, but also because I spent THREE HOURS working on a simple post!  "Class discussions" should not be so demanding!  I stared crying, nay, SOBBING, & my oh-so empathetic husband says, "Amanda, calm down.  There's nothing you can do about it now.  I've told you before to do your work in Word & save often.  I've done that before & you just have to redo it."  Not exactly what I need to hear when I'm in the middle of a serious emotion/mental meltdown.

I love this piece by Dane Cook, but beware, it contains excessive amounts of colorful language...

Muzak for the Soul

(Sorry, I couldn't think of a better title...)

Lately I've been asking myself why I don't listen to secular music.  I remember why I started listening strictly to Christian music 8 years ago.  It was a pivotal moment in my life when the LORD was calling me out of all the crap I abandoned Him for (you know - sex, drugs, & rock n', er, techno, in my case) a couple years earlier.  All the secular music I was listening to at the time was a tangible reminder of what I had done to God when I turned my back on Him.  I don't think the music is inherently bad or evil, nor do I hold judgment against people who listen to secular music.  This was simply a personal choice in response to what God was doing in my life.  Eight years later though, I feel a little out of the loop in the music world.  Jason & I listen to a wide variety of music - praise/worship, rock, hardcore, indie, rap - but it all pretty much worships the LORD in one way or another.  There are a lot of awesome Christian artists out there, but generally speaking, the Christian music industry is infamous for producing the cheesiest of songs.  The pickin's are slim for real, good Christian music.  Secular music doesn't bother me, but personally, I'd rather stick with music I am certain is God-honoring.  It's what I most enjoy.

Happy Resurrection Day!

So I didn't do anything to prepare my heart for Easter this year.  I wish that I had because today just felt like any other day, only we had church outside at the amphitheater, in 90 degree weather and direct sunlight.  But today isn't just any other day.  Today we remember that Christ conquered Death.  Why doesn't that thought stir up passion deep within my soul?  I guess that Truth should stir up passion in a person no matter what day it is.  We should remember Christ's victory daily.  My life should be a continuous celebration of the LORD's sacrifice...  I think I will try to work on that.

I love this song.

Sweetly Broken
Jeremy Riddle

To the cross I look, to the cross I cling
Of its suffering I do drink
Of its work I do sing

For on it my Savior both bruised and crushed
Showed that God is love
And God is just

At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees, and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love,
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered

What a priceless gift, undeserved life
Have I been given
Through Christ crucified

You’ve called me out of death
You’ve called me into life
And I was under Your wrath
Now through the cross I’m reconciled

In awe of the cross I must confess
How wondrous Your redeeming love and
How great is Your faithfulness

Fourteen Weeks & Nothing to Show For

Today marks the beginning of my 14th week of pregnancy & I am not showing. I thought for sure I would be by now since this is my second child. I don't even look the slightest bit pudgy in the midsection.

That disappoints me.