Flashbang

I'm reading this awsomely funny book called Flashbang how i got over myself by an awsomely funny guy named Mark Steele. Mark sometimes writes a column in Relevant Magazine which I absolutely love, so I decided to buy his book. This ranks right up there with David Crowder's book, Everybody Wants to go to Heaven But Nobody Wants to Die - another awsomely funny book by an awsomely funny guy. I highly recommend reading both.

Happy Birthday Holden!!

Today Holden turned 3. I remember the day he was born pretty vividly. I wanted to be there for Holden's debut & demanded that Maria & Chad call me when she went into labor, so they did. In the wee hours of Tuesday morning on July 27, 2004. My phone started ringing & before we even looked to see who it was calling at such an absurd time Jason said, "Answer it - Maria's having the baby." "Okay," I replied, & opened my phone.

ME: Hello? [in the groggiest of voice imaginable]
CHAD: The baby's comin'.
ME: Okay.
CHAD: [chuckling a bit] You wanna go back to sleep?
ME: Yes.

Click. And just like that, I missed the birth.

I did make it to your Grammy's house later that day to see you. You were such a beautiful baby! I'm just relieved you decided to come out before Uncle Jason & I left for California. Holden, I honestly did want to be there for your birth & I'm terribly sorry I missed it. It's difficult to separate me from sleep - just ask Uncle Jason! Know that we love you very much & wish we could be around more to watch you grow. Happy Birthday!

My boss was incorrect. It wasn't good news. It was, in fact, the freakin' sweetest news I've heard all week!! My quarterly bonus is dependent on several different factors, one being "Terminations due to non-payment," or, dealers given the boot because they don't pay their bills. If you have 5 or more terms for this reason, it's an automatic 0% in that area (there are only, like, 4 parts, thus this would be a large chunk of my bonus.) I was unfortunate enough to have 6 total for Q2 - boo! Well, it turns out, 2 of the accounts won't be held against me because after the outstanding balances were resolved, the stores came back on our program - yay!!! So that brings me to a grand total of 4. I think this will give me a 100% for this quarter. Two more in a row, & it's "Amanda Stagno - SENIOR Regional Account Manager." Oh, & a raise too :)

My boss approached me today shortly before I left & said, "I need to talk to you." Uh-oh. What'd I do now? Apparently she could see the fear plastered on my face as her next words were, "Don't worry - it's good, so don't give me The Look," & walked away. She didn't tell me before I left work, so now I'll probably be up all night thinking about it.

Thanks, But No Thanks
Formerly, "On Life, Babies, & Walking on Eggshells"

We went to the OC Fair with Jason's brother, Jon, & his wife, Molly, on Saturday. It was nice hanging out with them, as we don't usually see them much. Toward the end of our evening, I commented that we were seriously thinking about trying for baby #2 soon. Molly froze & gave me this shocked look - her eyes wide, eyebrows raised & jaw slightly ajar. She, along with a handful of other people, have responded, "Again?!" or "You're crazy!" upon my mentioning of baby #2.

Another great example of this reaction occurred back in May; Jason's parents, Jon, Molly, Jason & I were having brunch before his parents left to go back to Maryland. Molly stated, "We [she & Jon] were thinking about this second baby - where do plan to put it? Your place is too small for another one." I replied that we'd make room for it. Ed, Jason's dad, said, "Don't have another baby yet. You don't have room. Jason's not done with school yet, let 'em finish & then you can have another baby."

One of my co-works (who has 2 of his own kids) has said to me a couple of times, "You think this is hard, wait until you have another one." Another co-worker, when the subject arises, usually tells me I'm crazy for wanting another baby now.

I appreciate everyone's concern for our well being & I know their intentions are good, but it is a little frustrating that they so freely give their unsolicited advice. Thanks, but no thanks. Can't a girl get some support for a change?? I think my sister is the only one who is excited for us to have another baby now - thanks Danielle! - at least, she's the only one who has given us a sincere "Woohoo!"

What others often forget is that you're pregnant for 9 whole months - nearly an entire year. Not to mention the months it takes trying to actually get pregnant. By the time baby #2 gets here, Solomon would be around 2 years old, give or take a few months. I think 2 years is a good amount of time between children. I'm young & I'm going to keep having babies for a little while. I will not put my life on hold or stifle my desires just because of others' opinions. I choose to have babies because my Beloved & I love each other so much that we desperately want to make something out of our abundant love with which we can share - our children. The only other person who could possibly affect how many children I bear & when is Jason. It's my life & I will spend it how I choose. Do me a favor, though - should I ever try to dictate, influence, or otherwise affect your decision on how you should spend your God ordained days, please stop me & remind me of this moment.

Apparently I'm not entitled to sick days at work.

On my way to drop Solomon off at daycare this morning, & we were nearly there, I suddenly got a whiff of a very foul aroma. It was beyond a dirty diaper. It was an explosive defecation. How could something so massive & rancid come from such a little person?? I would venture to say that this was the worst diaper I've ever had to change. When we arrived at the daycare, I took Solomon into the classroom & changed not only his diaper, but his entire outfit. He was only in those clothes for a half hour! Anyone who has a child in daycare knows that children are not permitted to stay if they: a) have a fever; b) have diarrhea; c) have a rash; d) are vomiting; or e) any combination of a-d. Nor are they allowed to go back until they've been symptom-free for 24 hours. So I loaded Solomon & his things back into the car & called my boss to let her know I wouldn't make it to work today. She didn't answer her phone so I left a message. Company policy states that when you call out you must physically talk to your supervisor; a voice message will not suffice. Thus, I called my sort-of-supervisor. (She is in the same position as I am, but a level above me, & next in line if my boss is unavailable.) I explained that Solomon had to stay home today & that I couldn't make it to work. Then she asked, "Have you talked to your husband? Is he able to stay home today?" WTF? He has a job too, ya' know. "Yes, & he really needs to go into work today. I already discussed it with him & since he's stayed home the past 2 or 3 times Solomon's been sick, it is my turn." I probably would've brushed off her questions if they didn't arise each time I've had to call out (which isn't that often - the last time I called out was 4 or 5 months ago). Work is a Catch-22 for me - I have to work to provide for my family, therefore work is very important. Without it, we couldn't survive. Especially in SoCal. My family absolutely comes first, but in order to keep my family first, my job must come first.

Dancing with Dementors

We saw Harry Potter last night & it was fantastic! Yes, it was a bit shorter than the previous films, especially considering it's one of the longer books, but the main parts of the story were pretty accurate. Eeh, what do I know, though? It's been a few years since I actually read that book, so it was practically new to me. Jason tries to get me to re-read them with him, or to listen to the audio books, but I tend to fall asleep when listening to him or Jim Dale read.

I'm also very excited about the 7th & final installment of the HP series due to hit the shelves in 2 days. I reserved my copy back in March or April. I'm a dork. But I bet you are too.

First Steps!

Solomon walked to me for the first time yesterday when I picked him up from daycare - yay!! He was super cute. The teacher stood him up & let go of his hands & he waddled right to me like a little penguin (with an occasional fall on his bottom). He looked more as though he was dancing 'cause he was really bouncy & wobbly, with his arms sticking straight out at his sides for balance. His legs were really stiff as he wouldn't bend his knees much & he walked on his tip-toes. He just kept smiling, walking, & falling. I wish I could've caught that on tape. I tried when we got home but he wouldn't do it again & was getting kinda fussy. Hopefully I can catch some footage this weekend.

I want to move back to Maryland. Now.

Grief & Relief

My mother-in-law's sister, Sandy, lost her battle with cancer yesterday evening. She's been sick for several years; she was diagnosed with colon cancer before Jason & I even got married. I am very attached to my mother-in-law's family & love Sandy very much. I felt really weird when Jason called to tell me. I felt a combination of grief & relief. I didn't cry much over her loss. I suppose because I saw her on Sunday &, knowing it would be the last time I'd see her, was able to say good-bye, bringing me closure. I'm grateful she isn't suffering any longer & find comfort in knowing she is with Christ now. Jason & I decided it isn't feasible for us to turn right back around & fly to Maryland again for the funeral. I looked at air fare last night & couldn't find anything less than $400 - that would be $1000 + for us to fly back home. My bereavement at work doesn't cover extended family & I'd only be allowed to take 2 unpaid days. So in addition to paying all that money in air fare I wouldn't be making any money. I think I'm still going to try to convince Jason to go; he should at least be there for his mom.

Back To Work In Beautiful, Sunny Southern California

We just got back from Maryland yesterday & I have returned to work today. Boo! I always feel the most homesick right when I come back from MD. It was a short trip of a little more than a week & it was for my brother's wedding specifically so that consumed most of my waking hours (bachelorette party, running last minute errands, dress alterations, etc.). I love going home because I get to see my family & friends. I hate going home because I have to stretch myself so thin in an effort to visit with them all. It's bad enough splitting our time with 2 sets of families (not to mention various friends) but my mom came up from TX as well. I was very excited & happy to see my mom as I don't get to see her often, but it did cause me to have a bit of a melt down at the wedding as I felt so guilty for not spending adequate time with everyone. I'm sure everyone else just thought I was crying tears of joy for my brother & his beautiful bride.

Well, I gotta get back to work. I have much catching up to do. (I had about 400 emails in my inbox when I came in this morning!)