Wednesday, November 18, 2009

On Loss, 3 Years Later

Tonight at life group I mentioned my baby brother Josh while explaining the number of siblings I have. I didn't go into detail, or even explain what happened. I simply said I had 4, now I have 3 as he passed away 3 years ago. Someone immediately said, "Oh, I'm so sorry!" In the moment, it didn't trigger anything. It's been 3 years. I've accepted it, coped with it. It is what it is. I didn't even acknowledge the sympathy & just continued talking. Well, on my way home it finally struck me that my brother's absence no longer really affects me. I've become desensitized. How did that happen? THAT realization crushed me.

Of course I still think of my brother. Very frequently, in fact. I still shed tears from time to time, too. I will always remember & love Josh. But I guess this is how it's supposed to be though. I mean, how can one go on living if they stay stuck on something that has happened in the past?


No comments: