On the Verge of a Meltdown

I have been beyond crazy this pregnancy as my mental stability has taken a serious plunge. I cry almost everyday, usually over dumb, insignificant things, I yell a lot, & I just constantly feel miserable. I don't feel miserable about the pregnancy (though at this point I am certainly ready for it to be over), but I guess my hormones are all out of whack because of it. I cried this morning because Jason said I was yelling at Solomon too much, so I felt like a bad mom. (Actually, I feel like a bad mom a lot because sometimes I don't even like being a mom. Does that make me evil??) Then he added that I've been yelling at him more too & that made me feel worse.

Later this afternoon I tried to take Solomon outside to play in his pool because he hasn't played in it in a couple of weeks. Well, he lost interest about 5 minutes in & started running away. I had a hard time catching him, but when I did I made him go back inside the house. Then I cried over that because I wanted him to have fun in his pool but I was sad because he wasn't listening to me. That episode had me crying for about an hour; heck, just typing it out is making me cry right now!

When Jason came home this evening we got into an argument & he told me it's OK that I feel the way I do but I can't act the way I've been acting -- INSANE. Yep. Cried some more.

All of this was just today!

Please pray that God intervenes because I think I'm going to go jump off a bridge now.