It's Unavoidable

Yesterday my mom was talking to me about her shots she gets for her arthritis, as she just had some recently. While she was telling me about these injections, she showed me her hands & they looked awful! It took all I had in me not to look shocked or cry, staring at her swollen joints. My dad has told me once before that it is highly likely my mom's arthritis will make her hands cripple someday.

My mom just turned 50 this past May & I am well aware of the fact that my parents are aging, but for whatever reason, I still look at them as though they are 20 years younger. I don't like thinking that my parents won't be around someday.

I don't know why I am so sensitive about my parents getting old, as the thought of myself getting old doesn't bother me the least bit. I am not afraid to get wrinkles, gray hair, saggy boobs (well, okay, I'll admit it - the saggy boobs part does bother me slightly), etc. I noticed a couple of tiny varicose veins behind my knees a few weeks ago. After I got over the initial surprise of their existence, I hadn't thought of them again until now. Yeah. I still don't really care too much that they are there. The only thing that crossed my mind was concern for my health: Am a little overweight? Perhaps I should be eating better & exercising more...

I suppose I just don't want to lose my parents. Or any loved one for that matter. I don't fear my own inevitable fatal ending as I am excited to experience the crossing over from this life to the next. Not to mention the certainty of being in Christ's presence. I know my parents, & the majority of my loved ones, will be in Heaven too, but I don't want to have to endure much of my life past that. God forbid Jason or any of my children go before me.

In any case, we all die. Eventually. There's no sense in dwelling on it, really. Whenever God takes each of my loved ones, those prior to me of course, He will be there to carry & comfort me, just as He did when Josh went Home. It's always difficult at first, but it gets easier; He gives us many things to live for, so we'll be plenty busy. Until He returns, there will always be His Work to do.